9 things #isolife taught Pole Dancers
With pole studios across Australia (and in some other countries) starting to re-open after the COVID-19 closures, us pole dancers are beginning to emerge out of our glittery haze and prepare to re-enter the studio to twirl around pieces of steel, in very little, with other human beings. Some of us are so excited we have already started to camp out in front the studio waiting for it to reopen. Others are a little anxious about leaving their home bubble and have stocked up on extra grip for their nervous little palms. Which made me think– regardless of which one you are (depending on the day I swing between the two like Phoenix), we all learned something positive during this time! Here are 9 things isolife taught pole dancers…
Mischka at Miss Pole Dance Australia 2016/17. Photo by Vertigo Photography
1. How to establish an EPIC home studio
Some us were blessed by the pole gods and had home poles handy when the ‘rona took over. Some of us sadly did not and were hustling for poles like strippers on an over-staffed shift. Whether you do or don’t have a home pole, there have been some amazing home studios born during lock down! There are those with neon strobe lights and metallic back drops, to the tranquil, naturally lit gorgeous spaces you just want to curl up like a cat and sunbathe in. There are the quirky kitchen poles and the dusty garage pole studios with screens mounted on wheelie bins, but no matter which one you are, we still look glam AF in these creative spaces! Which brings me to my next point...
2. Improv-house-ation
Wow, we can adapt! Our partners/families/housemates have been shown a whole new part of our pole lives – how important it is to get that camera angle right, how much we grunt trying to invert, how much we sweat in our sexy routines, but also how to SPOT us. It sounds something like this – ‘Yep so I’m going to go upside down, hook my leg and flip into like this superman thing, then nose dive down and try to hook my leg. So you come in on the nose dive. Your hand will probably get crushed between my body and the pole, but you’ll be right! Live alone? No worries – couch cushions have doubled as acro and crash mats!
Image from @polelols
With most home sporting equipment selling out fast, many of us didn’t have a chance to stock up on stretch mats, foam rollers and weights. But have no fear – the pole dancer is here! Don’t have a spiky ball to roll on? Hello tennis balls and onions. Need a roller? Grab a rolling pin! And my favourite and the most popular by far... need a weight? Pick up your pet! Our beloved furry friends have been the guest stars of online classes all around the world! So when our instructors suddenly tell us to find ‘something heavy to use’, a sausage dog seems reasonable. Or a bottle of wine. Whichever is closest (and still lingering around... my bets on the dog!)
Image from Mona’s Comics
3. Down, down, pole dancers are down
Okay so our improvising has been going great so far, but yes there have been falls. So. Many. Falls. I picture Dan Rosen (the mastermind behind Pole LOLs @polelols) dancing gleefully in the downpour of fail videos we send him like Geri Halliwell in the ‘It’s Raining Men’ video clip. Without our trusty pole pals and teachers spotting us, we are coming off that brass and landing straight on our ass! People are falling through their bedroom walls, stacking it in their garages, crash landing on dining tables and getting tangled up in their home studio lights.
Ohhhh and the poles... The home poles are dropping like shiny flies. These videos are the epitome of cringe, they hurt our sparkly little souls. Yet like the Desperate Housewives of Beverly Hills, while it’s so painful to watch, you just CAN’T LOOK AWAY!
4. Active wear, hell yeah!
Once we are done falling off poles, kicking lights and doing squats with our cats, we like to chill and have a protein shake. Or chocolate cake. Who cares! Long before there was ‘Netflix and Chill’, reigned the original chill buddy – Leggings. Tights. Active wear. This point is more about what dancers have taught civilians and muggles during iso – Leggings ARE pants! YOU CAN’T DO SPLITS IN JEANS!! So as we start to re-enter the public after isolation, the rest of the world I’m sure will remain on board with us aerialists and live love laugh the legging life.
5. The other side
Our brains have been getting the workout of their lives. And our bodies are freaking out. Because when you are taking a virtual class, it’s became apparent quite quickly that it’s difficult to work out which side the teacher is using. Is it her right hand or her left? Which side of the pole should I be dancing on? Is that a left leg wave or a right leg wave? Cue FREAKING OUT. Our poor brains already have so much to deal with as aerial artists, so many of us just started using whatever side we liked. Shoulders around the world are rejoicing! Our hips are balancing out! We are no longer dominated by one side because we literally can’t work out what is going on in that combo through our teeny tiny computer screens. We are getting so smart because of it too! Who needs sudoku when you have online classes!
6. Couch Choreography is a thing
Who knew that couches and doorways could double as areas to twerk, grind and hair flick all over?! And if you were already doing that (look I’m not judging you), it’s now totally acceptable! You can create a full dance routine in the confines of your laundry door frame. You can slink all over the couch being sexy while also subtly searching for lost Doritos. It’s so fine! Plus couches are much more forgiving than hard floors – how did we not clue onto this earlier? Shout out to the studios who jumped on board and ran couch chorey classes, doorway dances and garden grinds!
Maddie Sparkle at Miss Pole Dance NSW 2015 - Photo by Vertigo Photography
7. Dora the Explorer
Somehow from our little glammed up home studios, we have travelled and explored the world! We have been able to take classes with our interstate and international pole idols which for many of us has been a dream (luckily, they mute the students in virtual classes because we are fan-girling like crazy up in here!). It has also given us the chance to try new classes that perhaps once clashed with our schedules, or we just didn’t have time for. You might have tried a new dance class or tricks with a new teacher. You may have added more strengthening or stretching to your weekly routine. Whatever it may be, big or small, I think this is one huge positive we can take from #isolife. It’s easy to get caught up in your weekly pole lives, so remember to put on your purple t-shirt, grab Diego and keep exploring new classes or workshops post-iso!
Adam Lin performing at Pole Theatre UK 2019
8. We are grateful
A tall, secure, pole has never looked SO good! Oh those glossy studio floors, perfectly vacuumed, have never been so appealing to roll around on. And let’s not forget those beautiful tall studio mirrors! This time has allowed us to reflect on how lucky we were to have such gorgeous studios with all the space and flattering lighting (the kitchen fluorescent just isn’t cutting it). Personally, I am grateful for suppliers like X-Pole who have always had home poles for us to dance on. Of course, a global pandemic probably didn’t cross their minds when inventing home poles, but I am very thankful that there is a way I can still do what I love at home. If you were unable to get your grippy little hands on a home pole, I bet you are still thinking back to a time where you could fish-flop all over the place without rolling into a wall! So once your studios open, be sure to show your studio owner some appreciation and socially distanced love for the Disneyland they have created for us!
9. Pole People are the BEST People
Pole dancers and aerialists are tough cookies. We belong to a strong community of glittering humans who have showed so much kindness and support for the industry during these challenging times. Studio owners, teachers and students – we had each other's back during this time. Instructors were offering all kind of classes to help us keep our sanity (ahem, see point number 6) and owners were delivering studio merchandise to our door steps. Students were taking extra classes or buying merch if they could, or even just sharing their studio’s social media posts and checking in to offer moral support to their peers and teachers.
Isolife has been testing, and a few of us may have considered shaving our heads like Britney circa ‘07 (pretty sure the studio owners contemplated it first), but the pole love and passion that has been unleashed has been incredible. We have all grown – we now understand what spatial awareness means, we have found more time to stretch, we do weekly workouts, we explored new classes, we have danced on couches and in doorways, we have dreamed and imagined of the new shows we will be bringing to life. We have adapted, learned and created. And as we strap on our Pleasers and step back through the studio doors, the passion and pride for our community burns so much brighter.
Artwork by Pony Poison Memes @ponypoisonmemes
Leave a comment & tell me what great things you would add to the list! xxo
